MJCW Blog

Is DBT Right For You?

by admin

Is Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) right for me?  I hear this question over and over from potential and current clients.  To answer this, it’s helpful to understand basic information about DBT and how it is used. 

What is DBT?

DBT is a is a type of psychotherapy based on cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), a talk therapy that helps people understand how thoughts, emotions and behaviors are interrelated. DBT is specially adapted for people who experience emotions very intensely. 

“Dialectical” means combining or balancing opposite ideas. DBT focuses on helping people accept the reality of their lives and their behaviors, while also empowering them to change their lives and any unhealthy behaviors.  It focuses on self-acceptance without judgment, while also encouraging change and growth.  

What is DBT used for?

American psychologist Marsha Linehan developed dialectical behavior therapy in the 1970s specifically for clients with borderline personality disorder. Since that time, DBT has been used and researched in helping to treat a wide range of mental health conditions, including depression, anxiety, eating disorders, substance use disorders, suicidal behavior, and self-harm.

Why does DBT work?

DBT has proved effective for the treatment of many mental health conditions because each of these conditions is thought to be associated with issues that result from unhealthy or problematic efforts to manage intense, negative emotions.  DBT helps people learn healthier ways to cope, leaving clients feeling confident and equipped to deal with negative emotions. 

Learn to manage difficult conversations, disappointments, criticism, overwhelming emotions or conflict without lashing out at others or engaging in self-destructive behaviors such as substance abuse, binge eating and debilitating negative self-talk.

What can I expect from DBT?

DBT is a skills-based approach to talk therapy.  Clients will learn skills from four treatment modules: distress tolerance, mindfulness, emotion regulation, and interpersonal effectiveness.  Skills are taught in individual or group formats and then practiced at home throughout the week by the client.

DBT at MJCW

Mindful Journey Counseling & Wellness offers DBT through individual therapy as well as a DBT/Mindful Movement group. We are happy to visit with you to determine if DBT is the right course of therapy for you. Visit our website for more information about our individual services and groups.

Coping with Distress After a Mass Shooting

by admin

Our community has been shaken by the recent mass shooting in Allen. Collin County is not only where our business is located, but where many of our therapists and staff make their home. We share in the grief and mourning for all of the victims and those impacted by this devastating act of violence – one that is becoming all too commonplace in communities across the country.

Like us, you may be struggling with questions about how and why such a horrible thing could happen, and you may never find satisfactory answers to these questions.  Your mind may be working overtime to make sense of the mass violence and to find a sense of safety.  You may also be worrying about your loved ones and community. The heaviness of the event can be felt in many ways: emotionally, spiritually and physically.

Events such as the recent mass shooting in our community can be both directly and indirectly traumatizing. People may be indirectly traumatized by fearing for the life of a loved one at the scene, watching news updates and images on television and social media, hearing stories of others’ experiences of the shooting.  Your response to the traumatic shooting may vary greatly depending on whether you experienced the trauma directly or indirectly.  Regardless of how you experienced this trauma, you likely felt feelings of fear, helplessness and hopelessness that exceeded your typical coping skills.  

It is normal to experience a variety of emotions after a traumatic incident.  The feelings may include shock, numbness, fear, anxiety, helplessness, sadness, anger, disillusionment and grief.  You may want to avoid thinking about or talking about the incident.  You may experience any of the following: sleeping difficulties, flashbacks, intense memories, changes in appetite, physical symptoms (headaches, stomach aches, dizziness), wanting to be close to friends and family or difficulty being with others, feeling like beliefs and values have shifted, feeling as if life is short. You may even feel guilty for surviving the tragedy or not doing more to help. These feelings and symptoms are common, but over time, the support of family and friends can lessen the emotional impact of the trauma and changes will seem more manageable.  

Below we have listed ways in which trauma can present in children, teens and adults in addition to what is listed above, as well as tips for managing the distress caused by the trauma.

Children (preschool to age 11)

Kids may exhibit the following: developmental regression (bedwetting, separating anxiety, baby talk), crying, worrying about safety, fearing that another shooting will happen, worrying about caregivers, heightened startle response, sleeping difficulties, clinging to caregivers, anxiety, loss of interest in usual activities, stomach aches, headaches, nightmares, school performance problems, inability to concentrate, and anger/aggression.

Tips for Helping Children to Manage their Distress:

  1. Provide factual, age-appropriate information about the shooting in a calm manner
  2. Continue to provide a safe, stable home environment, a place of refuge
  3. Allow time and space for children to talk about their fears, worries and difficulties if they are able to articulate their experience.  Sit with them, validating their emotions without trying to convince them that they shouldn’t be scared, sad or anxious For example, you may say, “You seem scared to leave my side. It’s OK to feel that way, and I’m here with you now.  You are safe right now. Take your time and you will know when you are ready to join your friends.” If your kids are uncomfortable sharing their emotions, encourage them to make a “worry box” that they can decorate and write down and put their worries into.
  4. When needed, provide reassurance that the child is safe at home and in this moment; provide details on what actions you, the school, daycare, etc. are doing to keep the child safe 
  5. Keep a normal routine as best as possible (i.e. chores, school, bed time) so that your children know what to expect and have a sense of familiarity and stability
  6. Do not punish children for regressive behavior (this is a symptom of their anxiety and stress)
  7. Provide opportunities for children to connect with their friends and other loved ones and to engage in activities that they enjoy
  8. Spend some extra time with children at bedtime – they might even ask you to sleep in their room to feel safe

For Adolescents/Teens (ages 12-18)

Teens and adolescents may experience the following: worrying about safety, fearing that another shooting will happen, feelings of fear and anxiety, sleeping difficulties, depression, tearfulness, anxiety, loss of interest in usual activities, social withdrawal, stomach aches, headaches, nightmares, school performance and attendance problems, inability to concentrate, inability to get rid of thoughts or images or memories of the event, anger/wanting revenge, rebellious activities, self-destructive behaviors (substance use or risk-taking behaviors), lack of focus on the future, worrying about the safety of family and friends

Tips for Helping Adolescents to Manage their Distress:

  1. Allow space and time for teens to talk about their thoughts, fears and other emotions without pressuring them to do so.  Start the conversation and let them know you are there to listen when they are ready. Listen for misinformation and gently correct it.  Validate their experience without trying to convince them that they shouldn’t be feeling unsafe or scared.  Keep your body calm while they talk about their big emotions, letting them know it’s okay to feel this way and you can handle it. Encourage your teen to journal, write or create art about their experiences if they are uncomfortable talking about the emotions and fears.
  2. Limit TV and social media time to decrease exposure to excessive information about the shooting that can be re-traumatizing
  3. Keep home a safe place with a typical schedule and routine
  4. Reassure them that they are safe right now in this moment and discuss what actions you, the school or the community is taking to increase safety
  5. Check in often, letting them know you are there for them as you monitor their coping.  
  6. Coordinate with their school if they are experiencing difficulty concentrating or completing tasks
  7. Encourage time with friends and family, engaging in activities that are enjoyable and distracting 

For Adults

Adults may experience worrying about the safety of themselves and their children, fearing that another shooting will happen, feelings of generalized fear and anxiety, sleeping difficulties, depression, tearfulness, loss of interest in usual activities, social withdrawal, stomach aches, headaches, nightmares, inability to get rid of thoughts or images or memories of the event, work performance and attendance problems, inability to concentrate, anger/wanting revenge, self-destructive behaviors (substance use or risk-taking behaviors), lack of focus on the future coupled with reactive behavior

Tips for Adults to Manage their Distress: 

  1. Take time for self-care: breathing, meditation, prayer, a long shower or bath, exercise, spending time with family, friends and loved ones
  2. Take a social media and news break. Use this time instead to connect to people, pets or nature that can help you restore and heal
  3. Talk about your emotions with another trusted adult
  4. Continue with a typical routine and schedule
  5. Check in with others going through this trauma.  The simple act of you noticing them can provide healing to them and you.
  6. Give yourself grace, knowing that you will not perform at your “typical” level while your mind and body recover from the tragedy.  Give the same grace to your family, co-workers and friends. 
  7. Connect with others.  
  8. Empower yourself.  Speak with trusted friends, leaders of faith, others in the community that are interested in promoting change for safety and health.  This can provide a sense of meaning to your experience. Empower your kids to engage in similar conversations and activities.  

*Seek professional help if you or your children are experiencing suicidal ideation, thoughts of harming self or others, thoughts/plans of revenge, or a continuation of the previously stated symptoms for an extended period.  If symptoms persist beyond four to six weeks without any relief or abating, seek the help of a licensed mental health professional. 

Resources:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline, Call (800) 273-8255, or use Chat with Lifeline at https://988lifeline.org/chat/

Disaster Distress Helpline, Call or text (800) 985-5990 (For Spanish, press “2”) to be connected to a trained counselor 24/7/365 

The National Child Traumatic Stress Network https://www.nctsn.org

*If your teen is interested in a local support group, please contact our office at contact@mindfuljourneydfw.com

Collectively Healing

by admin

A new year is a time of renewed hope and energy. But 2021 has started with ongoing and new challenges. It can seem as though there is little relief in the onslaught of collective trauma experienced by our nation and the world. The headlines continue to portray negativity, death, and disruption. What are we to do?

Just as we experience these traumas collectively, I propose we heal collectively as well. We are intertwined with each other, and our healing processes, both internal and external, are interconnected as well. As we heal as individuals, let’s reach out to process and support one another. Let’s create the feeling of renewal we are all yearning for – together.  

Practice Mindfulness

As Jon Kabat-Zinn states in Coming to Our Senses, “Our wholeness and interdependence can actually be verified here and now, in any and every moment through waking up and realizing that, in the deepest of ways, we and the world we inhabit are not two.” As we bring ourselves into the moment through our breath and the senses, let go of judgments and preconceived notions. When we release what we cannot control and focus on what we can, we can feel safe and empowered enough to effect change.

We can begin the healing process by breathing, deeply into our abdomen, and focusing on our experience through the world by grounding through the senses, getting out of our head and our turbulent reactive feelings. We can sit with our emotions, allow ourselves to feel them and then choose how we can respond. This takes practice, but even two minutes a day can get you closer. Let us meet ourselves where we are and start with what we can.

Change Your Morning Routine

What is the first thing you look at in the morning? If, like many, it is your phone, try to break this habit. What if instead of starting the day by immediately opening a news app or scrolling social media, you grounded yourself in your being first?  What if you could identify where you are in the world, your breath, what you need, what energy to harness for the day before inundating yourself with negative headlines that can throw you off balance. Try starting the day mindfully with a prayer, a meditation, a breathing or grounding exercise before moving into the news. This fosters a feeling of security, which allows for a balanced approach to processing the news. Taking these first actions individually opens the way to heal collectively throughout the day. 

Get Back into our Bodies

Alone or together, we can use mindful movement, yoga, dance or walking/running. When we are in our bodies and can activate the sympathetic nervous system, then we can feel safe and socially engaged. When we feel engaged, we can effect change.

Make Connections

Despite the need to social distance, we can talk and process our experiences, thoughts, emotions and feel support, even via Zoom or FaceTime. These actions inspire us and ignite us.  We can breathe and meditate together, even if it is through an online platform.  When we talk or move together, virtually or physically, we are touching base with our intuitive positivity, our interconnectedness, and we know we are not in this world alone.  We can then get in touch with the part of us that feels connected to something larger, and that is where we find hope.

There is something beautiful and magical that happens when we pray together or listen to a beautiful piece of music together. There is something extraordinary that takes place when we nonjudgmentally listen to how we each uniquely experience our collective trauma. We can be here for each other. We can decide how to initiate change, first internally, then with our family, and then with our community. If you change how you approach and interact with the world, the dynamic of the interaction changes. 

We are powerful together.

 

Andrea Cunningham, M.S., LPC-S, CYT

7 Myths about EMDR Therapy

by admin

7 Myths about EMDR Therapy 

If you have heard of “EMDR” before, then you have probably also heard at least one of the myths that I’ll be talking about in this post. This style of therapy — Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing — has become a hot topic, but it can still feel like a mysterious process. Hopefully dispelling some of these “myths” will provide some clarity and help you feel more comfortable reaching out to a therapist to start your own work!

MYTH: EMDR is a new therapy.

TRUTH: Actually, EMDR isn’t new. As more people have learned about it and its many benefits, EMDR has gained popularity in recent years. However, EMDR has been around for about 30 years. The first research study on EMDR was conducted in 1988, and it has been used world-wide by therapists to treat a variety of mental health and behavioral issues. 

MYTH: EMDR is only for people who have post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

TRUTH: Some of the early work conducted with EMDR was with military personnel who had PTSD from war-related trauma. It is through that work that EMDR began to gain traction, and it is now one of the only therapies approved by the VA to treat PTSD in veterans. Over time, however, EMDR therapy has been proven to help clients struggling with anxiety, depression, panic disorders, body image, and much more.  

MYTH: EMDR is hypnosis.

TRUTH: EMDR sometimes gets confused with hypnosis due to the “eye movement” aspect of the therapy. However, EMDR is actually much different and has different goals from hypnosis. The goal of EMDR is “dual attention”, meaning that you are meant to ALWAYS be present and aware during each stage of the process. The theory behind the eye movement is complex, but to simplify it, you can think of what your eyes do while you are in the deepest part of sleep. While you’re in the in REM or “rapid eye movement” stage of sleep, your eyes naturally move quickly side-to-side while closed. This is the same action that EMDR reproduces during the reprocessing phase of the therapy. 

MYTH: EMDR is a “quick fix.”

TRUTH: This is a myth that honestly, I do wish were true. The reason this myth exists is because EMDR has been proven to heal many issues more quickly than traditional talk therapy. Also, for those with “single incident trauma”—meaning only one traumatic event prior to initiating therapy—the processing stage of EMDR can be fully completed in as little as eight sessions. However, for those with a more complex history or who are facing multiple stressors, EMDR is likely to take longer than 2 months. The good news is, EMDR therapy has shown to give long-lasting results and does typically progress faster than traditional forms of therapy. 

MYTH: EMDR will just make me re-live all the “hard stuff.”

TRUTH: Actually, this is not the goal of EMDR. In some forms of therapy, the goal is to desensitize you to the hard things you’ve lived through by discussing, writing about, or exploring them until you are no longer easily upset by reminders or triggers of what happened. This works well for some, and there are structured ways of doing this that can help the client feel empowered and move forward into a full and happy life. However, for others, this approach can be re-traumatizing. That is why your EMDR therapist will go through a lot of “prep work” to make sure you have several ways to gain a sense of safety when triggered. When processing, the therapist will not ask you to retell the story in detail or encourage you to ruminate on your experience. 

MYTH: EMDR therapy works because my therapist knows “fancy tricks.”

TRUTH: Like most things involving the human brain, why EMDR works is theoretical. I won’t bore you with any confusing neuroscience jargon. What I will tell you is that our brains have an amazing capacity to heal themselves, and this is exactly what EMDR helps it do. For science nerds who want to learn more about the theoretical background of EMDR, follow this link to FAQs and detailed research articles. 

MYTH: EMDR isn’t backed by research.

TRUTH: The good news is, this myth is 100% false. There have been numerous studies on the efficacy of EMDR and the outlook is bright. This link will take you to an overview of some of the most well-known studies. 

While healing brains and hearts is still somewhat of a mysterious process, I hope that this information sheds some light and answered questions that you’ve wanted to ask about EMDR. There isn’t any form of therapy that is right for every single person, but for those that do “click” with EMDR, it can be a lifesaving path to healing. Mindful Journey can help you get started on your EDMR journey. Contact us to discuss more and see if it is right for you.You can also read more at the following websites:  www.emdria.org and www.emdr.com.

Meghan Leonard, M.S.W., LCSW, EMDR Trained

Three P’s for Managing Back to School Anxiety

by admin

Three P’s for Managing Back to School Anxiety

written by Carrie Cravens, M.S., LCSW

Do you remember your first day of middle school? Most of us would probably rather forget. I cringe anytime I see a picture of my awkward years  ̶  braces and permed 90s hair and all. 

This coming academic year is a big one in our house, with two kids beginning middle school and one moving from a Freshman Center to the monstrous high school. Oh yeah, and it’s happening in the middle of a pandemic. If there is one thing that’s spreading in our house, it’s not COVID (thankfully), it’s anxiety.

My family is not alone in this feeling and it’s not particular to students transitioning to a new school. Almost all children have not stepped foot into a school in nearly 6 months! That is unreal! And most of them will be starting the year online, with no new school orientations, no “Meet the Teacher” nights, and no idea what to expect for the next 9 months. No matter what the age or grade, my bet is that most homes are experiencing some level of “back to school anxiety.”

So what can we, as parents, do to help our children? How do we calm the nerves and gently push them to the computer or to the classroom – while maybe even dealing with our own worries? We can’t take away the pandemic, we can’t promise that things will go back to “normal,” and we can’t pretend to know how they are feeling. There are some things we can do, however, to help the school year be a positive experience. 

Over the past few weeks I have been talking with my clients about this burgeoning anxiety as school gets closer, and together we have come up with our own list of “The 3 Ps of Back to School.”

1. Practice: This is especially important for kids who will be doing virtual school. If the child is not familiar with Zoom or whatever online platform will be used, practice using the technology with your child before the first day of school, so they are comfortable with the technology. Do Zoom calls together from different rooms in the house and work through possible questions and technical difficulties. Practice finding documents in whatever apps and programs they will be required to use throughout the school year. For those returning to a classroom, practice wearing a mask around the house for extended amounts of time, so they are used to it before classes resume.

2. Plan: Have a plan ready to go. Whether you are starting school online or in person, having a plan in place before the first day can relieve some anxiety. If your child will be doing school virtually while a parent is working, devise a plan for what they will do if they have technical difficulties. Who will they call for help or what will they try on their own before interrupting mom or dad’s work day? If they will go into the classroom at a new school, plan where they are most comfortable sitting if allowed to choose their own seat. Especially for older kids entering a new school, plan to meet friends at specific locations in the school at the beginning and end of the day and before lunch. Get a map of the school online and work together to draw out routes to classes if not allowed to go into the building beforehand for an orientation. 

3. Prepare: Prepare your child for challenges. Prepare for technical difficulties that could result in missing instruction or potential school closings that require a shift from in-person to virtual learning. Prepare them emotionally as well. Practice deep belly breaths or getting up and walking around to take a break when frustration sets in. Prepare them that things will go wrong, as it is expected in a year with so much change. When this happens, preparation can help keep their emotions in check.

The most important thing we can do for our kids right now is genuinely listen to their concerns and fears and help them be confidently prepared. We do not have to have the answers (because many answers are not available right now), but sometimes just sitting with your child and letting them talk can be the best medicine. 

Whether your child is returning to a familiar school or beginning the year out at a new school, one thing remains true: THIS IS NEW TO EVERYONE! We are all facing unknowns and uncertainties in some way or another, and it’s up to the adults in our children’s lives to provide positivity, support, grace, and encouragement that will be needed for a successful school year. 

Best wishes for a fabulous 2020-2021 school year!

Carrie Cravens, M.S., LCSW

Finding Balance in The Paradox of COVID-19

by admin

Whether we are continuing to shelter in place or whether we are slowly starting to socialize again, many of us remain exhausted and anxious.

COVID-19 is a paradoxical problem. As a human race, we are experiencing threats to our health, access to healthcare, financial stability, and our support network, just to name a few.  Our natural response to threat is to activate our Sympathetic Nervous System (SNS), the stress response in the body. Our SNS increases heart rate, causes the release of stress hormones in the body, slows down digestion, increases blood pressure, and increases our sensitivity to the environment. Basically, our SNS is trying to address a threat by readying the body to fight or flee the stressor. You probably know this as the “fight or flight” phenomenon.

Experiencing stressors over a long period of time can keep the body’s SNS activated. This may result in anxiety, depression, fatigue and other medical conditions or disease. This constant need for the body to stay on guard is exhausting.  

COVID-19 is paradoxical because one of our most natural ways to soothe ourselves and regulate our nervous system is to connect with others, increasing feelings of safety. However, social distancing (even less restrictive orders) prevents our ability to connect. Social distancing is keeping our bodies safe but preventing us from the relationships that enhance feelings of safety. When we make the choice to relax social distancing restrictions, our brain stays in high alert as we are aware that this increases our risk of contracting COVID-19. 

With prolonged SNS activation we can begin to feel tired, sluggish, and sometimes hopeless.  We may experience decreased motivation, difficulty concentrating, and physical symptoms of anxiety. We also tend to crave sugary, quick energy foods that ultimately result in another energy dip. Some may turn to alcohol or other substances to self-medicate.

When we are under stress and cannot connect with others, what can we do to help regulate our nervous system?

We need skills to activate the Parasympathetic Nervous System (PNS), which activates the body’s “rest and digest” mode as a counter to “fight or flee.” The PNS brings us back into a state of calm and lets us know that we are safe.  

Here are some ways to regulate the mind and body:

  1. Connect with each other online, specifically with live video sessions. Our bodies know on some level that this connection is different and not the same (which is why it’s more tiring than in-person interactions), but our brains also know this is “close enough” and we can feel acceptance and safety from the connection with others virtually.  

2. Activate the PNS through any of the following activities:

  • Breathing exercises, such as exhaling longer than you inhale and retention breathing. Check out the Calming Through the Breath and Senses video on our Knowing Yoga YouTube channel for examples.
  • Engage in predictable movement. Our bodies like predictability and repetition in movement to soothe ourselves. Create it by scheduling/planning your movements (yoga, cycling, walking, dancing). This time can be as little or as much as you have to devote to it. Even 5 minutes is beneficial.   
  • Sing or hum. This activates the PNS and is something so simple yet powerful
  • Rhythmic activities, such as singing, dancing, and walking with others is incredibly calming, soothing and energizing all at the same time. It requires that we fully participate in the moment, while connecting us with others to feel love, compassion, acceptance, and safety. These types of activities can be done with household members, friends on a virtual call, or by simply moving with an instructor on a YouTube dance or yoga video. You could even go for a walk while talking on the phone to a friend who is also walking.

3. Create a schedule. Predictability calms the nervous system. We need to create a routine while social distancing or working from home in which we do certain activities at the same time each day. Having a time for self-care, for movement, for hygiene, and a predictable sleep schedule are essential for a healthy mind and body.

4. Have goals to work toward or projects to complete over time. Having a task to move your body (grow your garden, start a yoga practice, learn to play an instrument, start a puzzle, bake new things) while also working to achieve a goal will give our brains and body the message of calm and safety. You can start with just a couple of minutes per day. I once started a puzzle and finished it four months later, much to the dismay of my husband who had to constantly look at it on the dining room table! I simply paid attention to it for a minute or two when I had some free time or when I was feeling anxious. Knowing that I could work on something tangible and see an end result gave me a sense of control, when many things at the time were out of my control.     

5. Bring novelty back to your life by trying new activities within our social distancing restrictions. Watch different movies, play new games, cook new foods, or try drawing or painting. New experiences keep you grounded to the moment.  

6. Make a plan to do something special to give yourself something to look forward to.  This doesn’t have to be anything extravagant. Schedule a Saturday afternoon to meet a friend in their driveway and chat. Prepare a special meal or plan a date night at home. Set up an indoor camping adventure in your living room.

Ease into these activities, knowing that you can choose to do one or all of them. Any effort you put forth will allow your brain and body a break from the stress and will help balance the paradox that the pandemic leaves in its wake.

Andrea Cunningham, M.S., LPC-S, CYT

MJCW Statement on Racial Injustice

by admin

Trigger Warning: anti-Black violence and police brutality.

On May 25, 2020 George Floyd was murdered by Derek Chauvin, an officer in the Minneapolis Police Department. Along with him, Thomas Lane, J. Alexander Kueng, and Tou Thao were complicit officers who stood by and allowed for this horrific murder to happen. Police brutality, inherent racism, and anti-blackness has been a deep-rooted issue in this country from the beginning. The brutal murder of George Floyd, along with Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, Mike Ramos, and countless tragic losses of black lives by law enforcement are explicit reminders of the systemically unjust society built on violence, oppression, and white supremacy. 

We, as Mindful Journey, recognize our privilege as individual people, a group practice, and as a mental health community and cannot stay silent or complacent. As a community-based platform, we have the responsibility for advocating for others’ mental health and there is a dire focus for black mental health. Mindful Journey condemns all police brutality, covert and overt racism, and any and all anti-blackness that is well alive in our country today.

Mindful Journey recognizes that the anger, grief, sadness and trauma of racism and police brutality are real.  As clinicians we listen and foster healing in our office.  As members of Texas Counseling Association, we advocate to secure mental health care for all members in our community and throughout the state.  We are taking a stand against institutions that maintain the status quo of marginalization and oppression.

We encourage you to recognize your privilege, uncover and identify your unconscious and conscious biases, and use your voice to speak up and out against all forms of oppression and hatred.  We are doing this work alongside you.

Please let us know how we can support you in this time and we encourage you to openly have conversations about allyship, advocacy, and systemic change. Real change comes from discomfort, so it’s time to start breaking down these barriers.

With Loving Kindness,
Mindful Journey Counseling & Wellness, PLLC

Seven Action Items for Helping Kids Manage COVID Anxiety

by admin

Let’s admit it, life is strange right now. And while Covid-19 impacts everyone, it can be especially challenging for kids, whose routine is significantly disrupted. 

With school closings, cancelled activities and events, and the inability to interact with their friends, the days can be lonely for children. In their video to support parents and kids during this isolating time, Mindful Journey play therapist, Carrie Cravens, and counseling intern, Maryam Munis, discuss strategies and activity ideas parents can implement with their children. Many parents wonder if they are doing things the “right” way. What is the right way during a pandemic? There isn’t! We are all in survival mode and what works for one family, might not be the right solution for another.

It is important to emphasize to yourself and to your kids that this is temporary. While no one knows when this will end, remind your little ones that you will get through this together. Feeling unified and supported gives kids a sense of community and assurance that they are not in this alone.

Below are some additional action items to consider as you navigate this challenging time, as well as a way to reframe the anxiety-inducing word “COVID-19” for your family.*

Compassion. Find time to give yourself compassion and grace when you’re feeling helpless and frustrated.

Observe. Notice the daily emotions that come up for you and your children and observe these feelings and write them down.

Validate. After you observe those feelings, validate and honor those feelings; they are all equal and part of your family’s experience.

Incorporate. Find time to incorporate activities that bring you joy, such as naps, TV, family bike rides, cuddles with pets, etc. These help to relieve daily stress and fears.

Discuss. Encourage your kids to have discussions with family, friends, and peers about how they are feeling. Some kids may choose to express this discussion in a nonverbal way and that is OKAY! Let them have a space to express and discuss, so they feel heard.

1 Pick ONE intention for the week and frame the intention to focus on how you want to feel by the end of that week. For example, “I intend to feel energized.” This may mean  practicing mindfulness, chatting with a close friend, or stretching. Intentions will help you feel in control and motivate you to find things that bring you closer to your intention.

9 Identify NINE things you are grateful for right now as a family to bring a sense of wellness, positivity, and hopefulness.

We are thinking of you in this time and are here to support you. You can find additional resources for coping with COVID-19 from Mindful Journey here. 

*COVID-19 Acrostic Resource modified from information from Wonder and Worries.  

Maryam Munis, MS, LPC Intern, NCC
Supervised by Sarah E. Carlson, PhD, LPC-S, RPT-S, E-RYT 200, YACEP
maryam@mindfuljourneydfw.com
469.609.7137

Three Ways to Strengthen Your Relationship Communication While Self-Isolating

by admin

For some couples, the idea of self-isolating in their homes initially may have sounded wonderful. Watching movies, cooking meals, taking walks – all without the typical daily activities and demands getting in the way – could feel like a vacation. However, as the days turn to weeks, what began as a welcomed escape, may now be causing you and your partner to experience more stress and conflict than usual in your relationship (and if children are also in the house, it’s likely the stress is even higher).

Good communication is vital for ensuring that couples not only enjoy this time together, but for strengthening the relationship overall. Here are some quick tips for keeping your communication constructive and beneficial – during quarantine and beyond.

Practice Assertiveness and Active Listening

Healthy communication is always crucial in relationships, and now that couples are spending more time together, it becomes even more important.  The good news? Being an effective communicator is a learnable skill! Couples can focus on two simple skills: calmly and directly stating your wants and needs while also respecting your partners wants and needs, and being a better listener. 

When expressing your wants and needs in the relationship, share your feelings and thoughts calmly, clearly, and assertively. You can do this by using “I statements” such as “I feel XYZ” or “I want XYZ.” Be sure that your requests are constructive and respectful to increase the likelihood that your partner will receive the feedback well. Stay away from starting your sentences with “you always” or “you never.” By using “I statements,” we take responsibility for our own feelings instead of placing them on our partner, which can cause defensiveness or a negative emotional reaction.

As important as communicating your own needs, partners need to listen attentively without interruption and then restate what they heard. Try not to get caught up in your own thoughts while listening. Repeat back in your own words what you heard your partner communicate to ensure that you heard them correctly. By doing so, your partner will know that you understand them.  

While one partner uses “I statements,” the other partner can practice their listening skills and vice versa. Being assertive and being an active listener are critical for improving communication for the long-haul.

Conflict Resolution

Conflict is inevitable, and we are all guilty of losing our cool sometimes with our partner. However, it is important to remember to fight fairly when conflict arises to deescalate the situation. When we can remain respectful during a disagreement and are able to resolve issues calmly, we strengthen the relationship.

One communication skill that is key for conflict resolution is knowing when to call a timeout. When things become too heated, we need to calm down and gather our thoughts so that they can be expressed in a more productive way.  Otherwise we can quickly find ourselves saying things we don’t mean, yelling, being overly critical, interrupting, name calling, belittling, or shaming our partner.

When a timeout is called, take the time to relax and recoup from the emotional intensity. Going for a walk, reading, watching TV, deep breathing, or taking a bath are different ways to calm down. If possible, communicate a time you think you will be ready to continue the conversation in a more productive manner.

When the conversation resumes and you have pinpointed what you were thinking and feeling that became so difficult to discuss, be sure to use the “I statements” and active listening skills to help keep both of you calm as you work towards a resolution. Take the time to apologize when needed. If you recognize that you said something out of line, made a mistake, or lashed out at your partner, own it! By taking responsibility for your actions, you further diffuse the conflict at hand.

Practice Healthy Communication

Strengthen your relationship and communication skills by using this extra time together to your advantage. Spend time getting to know one another on a deeper level by learning new things about each other. The following resources are great places to start:

  • You can download the free Gottman Card Decks App  to facilitate in starting meaningful conversations. 
  • Relationship books, such as Getting the Love you Want and The 7 Principles to Making Marriage Work, are great choices for couples looking to enhance their relationship. 
  • Another option is considering a customized relationship assessment such as Prepare/Enrich, which is used for marriage counseling, marriage enrichment, and dating couples that are considering engagement. Prepare/Enrich is one of the most widely researched assessment tools that identifies strengths and growth areas in the relationship. Some of the areas assessed include communication styles, intimacy, financial management, shared interests, parenting, and role responsibilities. Contact a Prepare/Enrich Facilitator to get started and then have virtual feedback sessions from home.

Being confined to a small space together can be stressful for any couple, even for the most solid partnerships! Take this time during shelter-in-place to improve communication skills that can benefit and deepen your relationship.

Bond Buchanan, M.A., LMFT

Prepare/Enrich Facilitator

We recognize that many people find themselves confined to their home with their abuser. If you or someone you know needs help, please call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233. 

Knowing Yoga: New Video Series Promotes a Different way of ‘Knowing’

by admin

Sometimes, in the midst of chaos, you find the strength to face your fears.

I have wanted to share yoga and mindfulness skills publicly for some time, but I chose not to make it a priority. Why?  It was out of my comfort zone. 

Although I had the passion to share skills with others, I was avoiding the work because I knew it could create feelings of vulnerability. I know that vulnerability provides the opportunity for growth and connection, but the idea of putting myself out there for judgment and the feelings of anxiety that followed were what I chose to focus on instead.  

But as I have spent the last few weeks sheltering in place and confronting anxiety related to COVID-19 and its impact on society, my mindfulness practice has become more important than ever. And mindfulness has taught me that there is a different way of knowing.

  • A way of knowing through what we can observe and describe, through the senses, through the breath and through staying in the moment.  
  • A way of knowing that has us identify and observe thoughts as thoughts and emotions as emotions, not necessarily as facts.
  • A way of knowing that allows us to “be” instead of “do,” which then allows us to act or respond with intention when we are ready.

When I “checked the facts” , I recognized that my thoughts and fears related to publicly sharing skills were not based on facts, but were based on my own assumptions of what feelings may surface if I posted a video. 

I finally “observed and described” these thoughts and emotions as just that, and I was able to find a place of calm from which to move. I intentionally decided I would prioritize sharing my knowledge of yoga and mindfulness. Thus, Knowing Yoga – a series of yoga and mindfulness videos – was born.  These videos are designed for all skill levels of yoga – from beginners to advanced.

I will be sharing mindfulness skills, guided meditation, and yoga on Knowing Yoga in the hopes of providing you a platform to find moments of quiet and stillness and to possibly find a connection with something bigger than yourself, even among the chaos.  My wish is for each of you to find your own sense of calm through these practices.    

For more information, subscribe to Knowing Yoga on our YouTube channel and receive alerts when new videos are posted. 

I look forward to meeting you on the mat soon,

Andrea Cunningham, M.S., LPC-S, CYT